The downfall of independence
Wanna know what I did all day? I put a desk together. A huge, heavy desk. My desk for my office, actually. A beautiful desk that I shouldn't complain about. Shouldn't being the key.
You know, I'm ok with the fact that this thing had more pieces than a typical mutt has fleas, but honestly, I hope I never have to get a new desk again. I hate the thing. Actually, I just hate that I had to put it together by myself and that it was so heavy I'm physically exhausted. My knight-in-shining-armor brother came over and helped me finish up the drawers and then put my desk chair together in about five minutes flat. Don't get me wrong-- I appreciate it, but it drives me crazy that he didn't even have to look at any directions. He knew what cam locks were and how they worked. I grunted and groaned and threw a fit and cried and collapsed trying to get the top on the side pieces-- getting all the dowels and cam screws to align, all whilst holding a piece that came in its own two-people-to-lift box was a nightmare. I'm stooped over-- can't straighted my back all the way-- but I need to go home and clean house.
Here's the frustrating part. I'm actually quite proud that I (mostly) put the thing together by myself. But sometimes you just get sick of doing it all alone. I mean, I'm grateful that I'm capable, but an extra hand would mean the world. When you're hanging a picture or a super-heavy mirror, it helps to have someone hold it up while you use the level. My Christmas lights are still up on my house mostly because to take them down alone will probably take me five times as long as if I had someone there to help me. I go to the movies alone and I eat alone. I cook for one. I canceled a dream vacation because there's no one to go with me. I want to scream. And it's not that I'm feeling sorry for myself (ok, yes I am) so much as I hate being limited. My mom kept telling me to just leave it alone for a day, but I'm not a quitter. I almost wished that blasted desk fell on me and broke my face or something. I would have powered through it. That's what I do. But that's why I'm exhausted.