First maybe I should admit that I'm motivated to post to move those Berries and Cream pictures down off the page a little faster. I looked at that post again and thought, "Really, Sego
? Why would you do that to yourself?" And yet, I try to live my life without regret... even when it means making myself look a bit foolish in the process. And boy, do I look foolish a good chunk of the time!
Here's something that made me feel foolish, even though it had nothing to do with me: When my childhood friend told me last night that he's getting married in a couple of days. He's coming to visit his family next week and I was looking forward to seeing him. Still am. And now I'm looking forward to meeting his wife. But I was a little shocked. I don't know. It just felt like the time I hung out with this guy that I LOVED (honestly, he is one of two men I think I was certifiably in love with in my life... and given my long dating career, that's pretty impressive, I think) and everything was going super well. We'd been a little out of touch for a while, but it felt like the fire was rekindling. So I asked him if he wanted to see a play with me later that week. And he said, "I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate that." His girlfriend? He met a girl at a gas station maybe the day after he and I hung out. Then she was his girlfriend. It wasn't as devastating
as you might think, but it was shocking. So I ended up taking another friend to the play instead. Ironically, that night after the show, my friend told me that "it was never going to happen between us." I remember that's when the well of emotion breached the levee, and I cried and yelled at him for hours. I wasn't at all interested in that guy, and I remember being so insulted and flabbergasted at his nerve (see a few blogs down... this still happens to me from time to time). OK. So childhood friend's text announcement of his pending marriage wasn't like any of that, I guess, because I am only truly happy for him and not heartbroken (though I loved him from ages 13 to 18, but in a mostly platonic way). But I don't even know how this could happen. Sometimes I've fantasized about suddenly announcing something major like that to people and have them wonder where in the world it could have come from, but it would never happen. Why? A) Every decision takes me ages to make. And in the case of getting married, for example, I think everyone would notice me being a girlfriend for a long time before I'd be announcing a marriage... I want to enjoy every stage, ya know? and B) My life is just too much an open book. That's not to say I don't keep some things to myself, because of course I do. But half the excitement of something great happening in your life is sharing it with your besties
. I remember once a roommate kissed this boy she liked, but didn't tell me for days. I can understand wanting to savor the moment and all, but I remember being a little hurt when I found out that everyone knew but me. Maybe that's it. Maybe I just don't like being in the dark.
BUT ANYWAY... there are a lot of things going on in MY life, and I ought to discuss them rather than other people's business, right?
Next movie endorsement: Lars and the Real Girl.
Watched it last night, thanks to my cousin's generous gift of a NetFlix
subscription. Really liked the movie, but I thought it was sad. Here's the great thing about it... nothing is heavy-handed or over-explained. It's understated and sweet. And amazingly, there are so many times when Bianca (the love doll) looks like a real person. Seriously. You become privy to Lars' delusion without some fuzzy-pink Saved by the Bell kind of flashback or fantasy scenes. Super good movie. Rent it. Or buy it even.
Another real thing of my life? I've been a little sad lately. Mostly because I miss a friend of mine who's gone for a while. It got bad enough that I engaged in a little retail therapy last night. On the plus side, I don't do this like I used to... you know, shop to make myself feel better. But I will say this: my two new shirts, the dress, the vest, the globe, and the bedside table (thank you, TJ Maxx
for the bargain on the last item) did kind of soothe me a bit.
Finally, let's end on a funny note. I think most people who know me at all have heard my lectures on the benefits of fiber. Blame FSN
100 and Dr. Laura Beth Brown at Brigham Young University. After I took her class, I became converted to a high-fiber diet. Fiber cures/prevents hundreds of diseases and problems. So I'm used to getting my recommended
daily intake of the stuff. Since I started eating whole grain food as opposed to say, highly-processed stuff, I haven't really had any kind of stomach problems. This is a big turnaround from my youth and always feeling a little sick (that's what fast food will do to a person, besides lead to obesity). So the other day my friend was leaving on a road trip, and I was at Target when he called. I asked him if there was anything I could get for him, and he said water (very good, the elixir
of life, and so much better for you than anything else you could drink) and granola bars. Granola bars are often something people THINK are healthy
, but they can be glorified junk if you don't get the right kind. So with him on the phone, I mentioned Target carried those Fiber One Bars he'd had at my house and liked. I got him a box. Fast forward two days later when he texts me and tells me to never buy those again. Without getting graphic, let's just say he ate three in one setting, and it gave him a few, um, problems. Hahahaha
! I tried to explain to him that it's best to introduce fiber into one's diet slowly, and that if he kept up with it, it wouldn't be long before his body was no longer experiencing all those less-than-desirable side effects. But he wouldn't hear it. Still, I laughed most of the day. I think it's a real sign of love that I'm trying to improve his diet. Once another friend was staying with me while he was interviewing for a job in Salt Lake. I hadn't been able to give him a comfortable bed-- he'd slept on my living room floor-- so I got up early to make him a nice breakfast to fuel him for his important interview. Except I made him my famous chocolate bran muffins. I think he had half a dozen. Same story. So if I offer you bran muffins, you'll know I love you.