Well, my friends, I'm getting more committed to the idea of shaking things up in my life. The lease at my apartment runs out in the middle of July and I'm faced with a couple options. If I want to make a BIG change, there's always moving out state, and that's not a horrible option. If I stay in Utah, I think I'm going to try to move to Midgetville.
Maybe I'm on the verge of what John Mayer calls a quarter-life crisis or something--making all these life-changing decisions and what not. For example, do I really want to go into the Foreign Service? Right now it sounds like a very good idea, but there's no guarantee that a) I even passed the exam and b) that I'll still feel this way a few months from now.
And I think its funny that the reasons for leaving are all at once the same reasons for staying. For example, sometimes I get a little worried because I think I ought to meet new people. BUT I hate the idea of leaving the good friends I have already. And what's more, it seems like the Utah set "gets" me a little more than folks elsewhere. Evidence: The other day I got this cryptic email from Chevron (who I still adore in a non-stalking way) apologizing for the behavior of some of his coworkers. Now, I didn't notice them being particularly rude (maybe I'm oblivious, maybe I'm hardened, I don't know) but I'm just kind of assuming they were having a laugh at my expense. Well, no biggie. As someone who carried a briefcase during the fifth and sixth grade, I'm kind used to it. But with very few exceptions, folks here seem ok with me being who I am.
And the other night I had kind of a nice experience reinforcing this, as well as leading to greater understanding: I went to a housewarming party for a fella I know through work. I went with a couple of gal pals from the office (note to self: why wasn't I hanging out with these girls socially ages ago? We had a blast!), and it was seriously fun. Was it a loud, boisterous event? Not unless you count our friend's 5-year-old niece demonstrating her myriad gymnastics talents. No, what made this nice was the epiphany I had while I was there. All the people I was hanging out with (aside from the charming 5-year-old) were these smart, attractive, successful, single Mormon people. It was such an awakening to know that they still exist, and that not all the people I know fall into that category of "single for a reason." For my friends not familiar with the LDS culture, if you are 25 and not married (a category I'll fall into in less than three weeks), you're a straggler or a slacker. Heaven forbid you hit the big 3-0 without a spouse. It's a little silly, I know, but I can't help but feel weird about it.
On the one hand, I'm perfectly content as a singleton. I LOVE living on my own, having my own place and all the benefits that go with it. I decorate the way I want. I watch what I want on TV. I don't have to stock the fridge with anything but whole-grain, high-fiber, and low-fat stuff, and I don't have to worry about anyone else feeling deprived. Of course, it's more than that. More often than not I'll opt for an evening of crocheting or reading or painting a trash can or taking a walk over being with people. This individuality and independence may be the biggest hurdle keeping me from meeting somebody great, but I choose to believe that if the right dude came along I'd be ready to give up the single life.
Then again, I may be the worlds most dense girl, and it could possibly take that ton of bricks falling to get me to notice if someone's interested. Recently, I had an opportunity to go out with this guy, but I didn't really recognize it until it was too late. Sad, but true. Basically it's only a matter of time before I start going to my siblings weddings and having everyone yell at the bride tossing her bouquet, "Aim for Rachel! She needs all the help she can get!"
Anyway, I think all this just amounts to random rambling. I'm healthy, I'm happy. It's Thursday. Things are copasetic.
PS. I just want to add that I like drummers. They're multi-taskers.
No comments:
Post a Comment