I'm not that girl

So last night I went to that dinner party. It was fun. It makes me feel special to be invited to stuff.
I'm feeling a little odd. Not bad. Odd.
Remember the fella I took out of my phone? (And no, I don't worry about him reading my blog... he doesn't, but if he did, I wouldn't be ashamed.) He kept saying, "Well, just call me..." and I couldn't say, "Sorry, I don't have your number anymore." So I pretended that I would, even though I can't. And if we don't get together, maybe it's my fault. No, surely it's my fault, but my ambivilence is directed at the consequence. Of course it's the thing I want more than anything, but until that's what he wants most, it does me no good. So I'm getting back to invoicing and payroll and worrying about other things.