And Another Thing: A Change Would Do Me Good

Why I'm looking for a new ward:
*Because I've got the (not undeserved) reputation for being mean.
*Because "Perfect Spencer" told people to come to his campfire instead of my house and smirked when he told me, "Oh, of course you're invited Rachel."
*Because when we played "What if" there were nice little comments like, "What if Rachel weren't bossy" and "Then this game would actually be fun" and even though I pretended to laugh, I went into the bathroom and cried, and counted as far as I could in Polish to take my mind off of it.
*Because even though I try pretty hard, there's still the "I Hate Rachel" Club, and I'm tired.

Why I'm thinking of taking myself out of social networking:
*Because you know when people delete you or your postings, and it makes you sad.
*Because there are some people who only add you so they can get something from you-- like one of your friends or your expendable adoration.
*Because even though you are a social exhibitionist, it's rough leading the life of a public figure sometimes.

Why I need a personality overhaul even more than a new body:
*Because I alienate people without meaning to.
*Because I lost a friend I never had, and it makes me really sad.
*Because I've turned into a mean person, and people think I think I'm too good for everyone else.
*Because I spent last night alone, and really needed some comfort I didn't know how to get.

Why it's tempting to throw it all away and lead the life of a Gypsy:
*Because I don't know how to maintain long-term relationships.
*Because I could be anonymous.
*Because I don't have any stability anyway.