Single or Extra Single?
OK. I'm liberated. I've broken free from the fetters and oppression of a pseudo relationship. So not only am I single (as I always was), now I'm extra single, which means my one decent, legitimate, and somewhat-interested prospect has been tossed aside. Well, not tossed. But because he's made the decision to not get help and get healthy, I made the decision to move on. I have to. For my own sanity.
And if you want to hear the laughable, extra-ironic and knife-twisting bonus, I got an email from a platonic friend this morning telling me he wants space. I'm trying to not be mad, but I can't help being hurt. On the one hand, I'm super used to boys treating me like my friendship overtures were part of a diabolical and covert operation to trick them into wanting more (hello! I'm not that smooth, and I'm too old for games), but the ironic thing is I'd only ever tried to be the supportive, background friend. Funny how he started "needing space" when I needed a little support. I told him I'll wait for his call. What I meant is, I'm not going to hold a grudge. But I'm also not going to hold my breath.
It's hard, this lonely lot. Oh, I don't mean to sound ungrateful. The other night, the girls surprised me (nearly gave me a heart-attack, actually) by showing up at my gate while I was mowing my lawn. They're a wonderful source of support. My family is pretty awesome, and there are more people who are kind to me than I deserve. However, my temporary popularity with the fellas is over (probably because I asked them to stop treating me like a pawn in their game of Alpha Male Establishment). The plans I make inevitably fall through, but I'm never as sad about it as I should be. Sev is making me read his copy of "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus." That pretty much has lost cause written all over it. But on the bright side, I can still listen to Destiny's Child "Independent Women Part I" on repeat and feel good about being one of the honies makin' money or whatever.
posted by Rachel @ 7:44 AM
3 Comments
3 Comments:
I dunno. Think you need to face the facts, girl. Female friendship almost always means a covert attempt to obtain "more." The exceptions are cases where there's just zero romantic tension...gay guys and the like. I blame women for this. But I've been a lot happier since just accepting the fact that single women always want something from you besides friendship than I was when I was complaining about being treated like a romantic object by girls who said they were my friends.
No offense to Grant, of course, but how many women are TOTALLY LAUGHING AT THIS?!?! Honestly, it may be that men are incapable of differentiating, but women can. Or at least I can.
For example-- I have a new friend-- a girl, who came to visit my house the other night. She openly told our group of friends she was sure we were all into the guy she likes. As a matter of fact, I DO have great interest in this young man. AS A FRIEND. I think he's a fantastic person. He's cute. He's smart. He's kind. He's real. But that said, I have never-- even once-- considered dating him. He feels like a kid brother in some ways, and an example to look up to in others, but there's no spark on my end. Never has been. I don't expect that to change. But that doesn't make me any less invested in him as a person. I want him to succeed. I want to help him in any way I can. What happens in his life is important to me, even though it won't ever been closely tied into my own.
You know, a lot of people think girls always want more because in an ideal world, you'd marry your best friend. There's a whole sub-genre of romantic comedies based on this concept. But your own Rachel Sego is so much more prideful than that. I get stuck in friendship land and then hate ruining things. No, I think I'll likely end up with someone who has been romantically interested in me from the beginning. What's more, I subscribe to the idea that he'll have to be more in love with me than I am with him to really turn my head. So the chance of one of my goofy guy friends being the love of my life is slim to none.
Yo tambien... I'd rather just be friends with every body then let them decide they are wanting more before I dare ruin anything! And oh the trouble that can cause! Oi vey!!
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