You're Never Gonna Keep Me Down

A couple of days ago, I faced the monumental task of ripping all my music to my work computer. Considering I've been buying cds since Ace of Base "The Sign" and Billy Joel's "River of Dreams" were popular, this took forever. However, it's been nice to remember that I have such classics as Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" and other gems (also, very funny that I realized there's a naughty English swear word in that song that I'm sure I glossed over as a child because I didn't even know that word existed-- by the way, my dad bought that album for me, and had his own copy... odd, right?).
Anyway, the path to self-discovery continues. I had another epiphany. Maybe even a paradigm shift.
Remember around Valentine's Day when I was freaked out because Andrew sent me that article-- the one urging women to settle and just be content with someone who passes for good enough? And remember my righteous indignation, as I insisted that was one thing I could never do? Well, I may be changing my mind.
Here's the background, and as a disclaimer, please no one take offense. If you are half of a married couple, surely YOU are the exception, rather than the rule, if that's what you choose to believe. And also, please know that I'm not really saying this in judgment, as much as just offering a general observation. So what's the big revelation?
Men get married when it's convenient, and to whom it is convenient.
Not that people don't love one another. And there are those fairy-tale relationships out there, like my sister and her fiancee, who really have loved one another for a long time and worked together as a couple so they could be together. And there are those relationships where it's convenient, but they still have those fairy-tale elements. But I was really surprised to see how many relationships I know of have at least been initiated out of convenience (and desperation).
This is the pattern I observe:
Man loves woman. Woman breaks man's heart. Man convinces himself that he is ready to get married and marries the next available, convenient, "good-enough" woman, who goes for it because women are generally willing to love anyone who will give them the time of day.
OK, sorry, that was harsh, and a little over the top. BUT it's amazing what a big, terrible breakup will do to crystallize a man's relationship goals. And really, women ARE typically more willing to make concessions about certain things. Women marry for companionship and protection and love. Men marry for those things too, but a lot of men I know just get married so they can have sex (I know-- foreign concept to a lot of people out there, but there are many of us who DO actually wait)-- I mean, at least at first. I think love often comes, and for every type of relationship I'm convinced love will grow, but that's the way it looks.
And I know that makes me sound jaded and bitter. I promise, I'm not. I'm just surprised it took me so long to figure this out. I'm generally a little quicker on the uptake.
So that article Andrew passed along as some kind of sadistic Valentine was REALLY just urging women to act like men, right? But I don't know if it's going to work for me. I think I've just been hard-wired to believe in love, and that someone ought to love me for me, and not because he can't do better. And I'm too prideful to want to be in a relationship with someone who feels like he's settled. Maybe THAT is why I'm a 27-year-old woman who's never had a real boyfriend. Maybe that's what everyone means by timing-- I guess I've never been in the right place at the right time to be someone's convenience girlfriend. Here's hoping someone wonderful will get his heart broken soon and I'll stumble onto his radar. Is that the best we can hope for and the most we can reasonably ask for?