I'm afraid I'm a bad person

I tried to break up and off last night, but I think I did a little more in the leading-on category. Part of this is because I care about the person at the center of the whole mess-- quite a lot. I keep thinking that things are getting a little better, so I ought to give this whole relationship thing a fighting chance. But at the same time, I'm not sure my motivations are quite that pure. I'd done my best to not make the new guy a victim of my rebound-osity, but he may be that anyway.
My cousin told me last night, "What it boils down to, Rachel, is that you and I are players." For years, that's what I wanted to be. Now player seems like a dirty word.