As Promised-- The Joy of Speed Dating

OK, gotta make this quick. Racing against the clock today with a to-do list a mile and a half long. But I'm happy, so I'll be singing as I work. Probably even when I hit the case-lot sale at Smith's. Because who doesn't like to hear someone singing about green beans?
Speed dating pretty much went as expected, but I have to give PBS (aka President Brown) major props for keeping things moving. I didn't have to tolerate anyone for more than about three minutes. There wasn't a soul who interested me, but it was still fun. My new friend Kristy was there, and she found some success, I think, so that's pretty happy. Also, I met a distant relative-- the great-grandson of my grandfather's cousin (Dirty) Enos Sego. Enie was a legend with the ladies of his generation. My grandmother used to talk about how much she hated dancing with him because he'd dance so close. Garret, who likes to "Enie dance," aspires to be our generation's version. Anyway, loved the little kid, and little kid loved Pam. My favorite thing was she called me this morning to report on her middle-of-the-night dinner with him, and he sat on the same side of the booth as she did. She told me in her mind she was saying, "I'm judging you right now." I love that! But Pammy will survive, because she's on her way to LC to celebrate the birthday of her Little Man (nephew Alex) and she's got a date with a nice-sounding guy. I echo Tresann's sentiment-- make out, Pam! Come home with a boyfriend! But if you don't, my distant cousin is a sweet little guy, same-side-of-the-booth and all.
But enough gossip about Pam-- let me gossip about other people.

*The best thing about the night was being able to spend some time with my girls. T joined us and it was a girly shrieking fest. Loved it so much. It was like old times, glow-stick dancing with Jacob (and his adorable fiancee, Victory), plus Paul and Kacie. I was pretty much in friend bliss.
*When Ben G. asked me during speed dating what I'm looking for in a husband (Yes, yes he did!), I didn't skip a beat when I said I'm looking for someone who can support me in the style to which I've grown accustomed. I told him I'm looking for a man who will buy me a lot of presents. (Note, this is partially true, but of course, not the main thing-- but I'll tell ya what, if a man tries to give me a little diamond chip of a ring, I'll say no. I've waited nearly 30 years for this, so I say bring on the rock!) Ben looked shocked and said, "surely you're also looking for a nice guy." I said, "Nah. Been there, done that. Bring on the expensive gifts." He still asked me to dance, but I turned him down because I was having too much fun dancing with my girls.
*Rudy got super jealous of all the other boys in our lives, which we knew was bound to happen. He told me and Lou that he thought Pam was "there with a boy" (her ardent admirer, and my "relative"), and then he threatened to "take that Jacob kid down." I suggested he refrain, as I doubted Jacob's future wife would appreciate it. That seemed to calm him down a bit. Poor Rudy. I love dancing with him. He's hands-down my favorite partner, even with all the "Night at the Roxbury" jazz. Sometimes I've overwhelmed with the temptation to kiss his face, but I'm good at resisting. Serves him right to be unfoundedly jealous. What goes around comes around, and we weren't even trying. Things like that make me laugh.
*AFK III continues to rock the inappropriate. He always leans his head down on Pammy's chest, which is completely uncool, even if he is 5 inches shorter than she is. He was dancing with Lou last night and yelled, "butt touch" and proceeded to touch her bum (which was actually very funny, especially when she played along and did it right back to him-- go Lou, you rule!). He tends to kiss me in public (which is funny, but sometimes he gets me on the lips and I'm always a little shocked), touches any pin I'm using to keep my cardigans closed and preserve modesty (an excuse to touch my boobs), and sometimes he'll finish a dance with a single pelvic thrust while shouting "dry hump!" I've talked to him about this, and scolded him up and down, but there's no changing him. That guy gets away with a lot, mostly because, well... I can't really say, because I don't want to be libelous. Let's just say he gets away with a lot. Love him, but he's a little nut.
*And a certain vampiric admirer continued to give me problems. Wallace and Grommet both offered to walk me to my car last night, but I declined the chivalry because it wasn't necessary. But Bat Boy (wow, that's not a good name, but I don't know what else to call my little friend) walked me to the car instead. He'd suggested earlier in the evening that we make out. I just laughed. I think he was really trying to get a kiss, but I wasn't having it. Here's the thing-- he's such an awesome friend to me, and I love him on many levels. But because I don't love him on THAT level, nor do I suspect I could ever, I just don't want to encourage him. I've already told myself I've got to stop calling him with all my emotional distress, because it's just giving him false hope. His interest is flattering, but it's stressing me out.

Anyway, that's all of the prurient content I can handle this morning. I've got to go gets me some green beans and come up with a song about it. XOXO