Scarier than a Snake in the Garage

No wonder my nerves are shot. First, it was the lizard. Then, the sheep tragedy. Then the snake in the garage (which, I'm happy to say, slithered out last night after I nearly stepped on it-- I didn't like it, but I'm happy it's gone). And let's not forget the bat that was on my porch for a while, or the centipede on the carpet I had to grab and flush down the toilet. Getting broken into and then having my mailbox smashed in and taken down wasn't a picnic either. This is why I get jumpy in the dark reptile display at the zoo. This is why I have those dark circles under my eyes, making me look old, or at best, like I'm getting into the Halloween spirit extra early this year.
But if I thought my anxiety was going away with the departure of the snake, I'm afraid I was wrong (ooh, punny!). I went to the doctor this morning, and when he said, "is there anything else?" I mentioned that I'd need a renewal on the b.c. next month. So that's when he said, "Oh, let me introduce you to the nurse practitioner, so she can give you an annual female exam." WHAT?!??!?!?! OK, and it's not like I didn't know it was coming, but I was hoping we'd go the way of last year's lucky break when my P.A. (who moved to West Virginia, thus making me see Dr. S. instead) said I don't have to have one. Boo!
Fortunately, this lady seems nice, but I'm not gonna lie... I really don't want to go see her Thursday. Yes, Thursday! I guess it's good that I don't have much time to worry about it, and my doc told her I don't have to have a pelvic exam because I'm Little Miss Virgin (there is SOME mercy in this world), but there's still the breast exam. And yes, I know this is too much information all the way around, but I'm SCARED TO DEATH. Mostly, I think it's just because I'm such a modest mouse. I think the last time anyone saw me fully naked (with the exception of Andrew seeing me in the bathtub in Poland 5 years ago-- and that was from a distance, and in a mirror) was when I had to take a shower with my mom at Girl Scout Camp when I was 9. So it's only been 19 years. And yes, I know this woman is a medical professional, and that there are a lot of girls out there who are going to call me on being irresponsible about my body and blah, blah, blah, but I just don't want this exam. I'm thinking maybe if I bring my iPod and listen to music I can pretend it's not happening.
I know. I'm a complete wimp. I'm still super nervous though.