Ask me. I won't say no. How could I?

The plot thickens. I'm very bad at break ups. I tried again tonight, without success. I'm not used to failing, and this is getting ridiculous. I suggested the poor man in question jump ship early, but I think he thinks I'm just being funny or playing hard to get. He told me tonight he doesn't have any place to go for Christmas. If I were a nicer person, I'd say, "Oh, sure! Come to my house." But I didn't. Because I can't. And it's all a big secret because if my family got word, they'd do the inviting for me. My parents, who are lovely people, are very concerned. My mother told me Saturday that she is concerned I'm going to be the family's Old Maid. My dad told me today that someday I'll have to answer to God because I've had "so many chances to get married" that I haven't taken. I wouldn't call those "chances" legitmate, but maybe I'm wrong.
So whether it's out of cowardice or selfishness or stubborness or just needing some clarity, I'm hereby on an official sabbatical. No dating for a while. I'm cutting it all off, because it's going to take some big energy to go out with the next 29 guys.
Besides, I have a lot on my plate these days. Particularly in the area of my house. This week I've already met up with the contractor to discuss the wood wraps around the windows (Hooray for territorial style!) and eventual paint colors (avacado or moss green in the study, a robin's egg blue accent wall in the living room, and eggshell everywhere else), and settled on a silver metal roof. This week I have to pick out fixtures for the sinks and other plumbing bits, buy my pellet-stove insert for my fireplace, and I think I'm picking out cabinets. Most people think of this as the fun part. It is, but for someone as indecisive as I am, it's a bit of a nightmare as well. Still, I'm having a blast. It's nice to have something to throw myself into.