I'm SO Excited, I'm So Excited, I'm So...So...Jessie Spano

Please forgive the reference to mid-90s television, but I'm very out of touch with pop culture these days. I realized a bit ago after checking my email that I RARELY even check entertainment news anymore. This is a big switch from my old Excel days. Now I'm lucky if I even know what people are talking about. I no longer read "People" (unless there's something about Princess Di or if it's the 50 Hottest Bachelors or whatever), I only watch the Food Network with my mom (I don't even have time for the Today Show or Jeopardy! anymore) and series from Netflix, and I STILL haven't seen the latest Harry Potter, when in days of yore, I'd never miss an opening-day opportunity. I don't know if I've gotten old or just busy.
So last night I was having a bit of a whine party with my cheesy friend Aaron (hahaha! get it?!?!) and I told him how I've been feeling socially deprived. Part of it has been because I've spent every waking moment covering something or other in glitter, but after church on Sunday and FHE on Monday, I can't help a) being grateful for the legit friends I DO have, and b) wondering why there are so few people I can relate to.
Yes, I know, I know. There comes a time in every woman's life where she has to put away childish things and take care of business. That's why I don't join up with the so-called Midnight Ninjas on their adventures-- call me old-fashioned, but I like to sleep at night! After dances when kids hit the casino buffet, I get my booty back to Los Lunas, inevitably stopping at a sobriety checkpoint (because they're at the same place in Bosque Farms every single weekend) and chatting it up with the cops about how I've never had a drink. I don't have the school thing in common with my church chums, and the peeps who I relate best to are all married or are in serious relationships. Well, nearly all of them. But I had to delete some chumps out of my phone again, because even though I'm Jessie Spano, I'm not Screech. Screech always got way more respect than I ever do.
And it's OK, because Jessie ends up happy (not to be confused with Elizabeth Berkley and her stripper-movie downfall) and successful. As I recall, she made it into Stanford (or did she? I really hated that show so much and never watched "The College Years," but episode after episode is ingrained in my subconscious thanks to my sister's love affair with Zac Morris). She got things done. She had a cute boyfriend who she could boss around and he bossed her right back and they had a mutually-beneficial, symbiotic relationship. She managed to do music videos and get a nice desk job at the LaRosi's country club and she was student-body president and a cheerleader (counter-intuitive) and a viable competitor in a dance competition (personally, "The Sprain" never did it for me-- no offense to Lisa Turtle, of course). Jessie was a bit neurotic, but in a lot of ways, she owned Bayside because she was above a lot of the drama. But it must have gotten lonely for her when Zac and Slater fought over Kelly, and Lisa was off with the fashion club, and Screech with his robots. So much of the time, she had to be the voice of reason and came across as a drag. Even the smart kids are sometimes misunderstood.
My problem is, I don't want to be on Saved by the Bell. I'd much rather be on Arrested Development.