"It's ALL about Me, All Year Long"

At the beginning of the year, I purchased a desk calendar called "It's All About Me, All Year Long." On it, one is supposed to take their daily narcissism temperature by shading in mirrors in proportion to one's self-involvement. Additionally, there is an area to wax poetic about one's love for oneself, and a corner for a daily self-portrait. Best of all, there's a daily quote, tip, or fact of egotistical evidence to keep up one's confidence. I initially purchased this calendar as a joke, but it has provided countless facebook status updates meant to convince any of my "friends" that I really am a diva. It's amazing how many things Mohamed Ali was quoted as saying...
Anyway, I think the calendar has been good for me. It gives me a little laugh every day, and I've noticed that when it comes to confidence, faking it till you make it does a world of good. I've gone from assuming that anyone who asks me out would either a) be joking or b) stand me up to knowing that I'm just too hot to handle. Or something like it.
Anyway, the point is that as I've gotten older, I've learned that confidence is key in dealing with members of the opposite sex. Homely, confident men will win out every time over the decent-looking, shy boy. Girls may have a little too much junk-in-the-trunk, but as long as they own it, it's sexy, not slutty. Work what yo momma gave you, I always say. Once upon a time, I was highly offended when a boy we'll call Justin Old made a rude comment about my chestal region. I was mortified, and wore a long jacket all night over my beautiful burgundy Christmas dress. It wasn't until my Bishop told me "If you've got it, flaunt it" that I realized what a waste that had been.
And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Remember my friend "Raquel?" She told me about a recent facebook chat she had that left her reeling. Raquel recently re-connected with an old acquaintance named Willie. When she knew him (through a certain adventurous summer in the Motherland-- she was a student and he was a missionary) she was impressed with his intelligence and wit. She also admitted that she thought he was pretty cute, despite her shame of having a Beehive-type crush on Willie. Time marched on, and through the miracle of Facebook, Raquel started talking to Willie again. Years later, both Raquel and Willie are accomplished souls with much to recommend each of them to the opposite sex. And while Raquel usually likes being the center of attention, she likes the men in her life to have a commanding presence as well-- she needs someone who can add to her own spotlight, not lurk in the shadows. The conversation that sealed the deal for her fantasies of world-domination with an equal went as follows (Thanks Raquel-- you're a champ, as is Willie):

Willie: I have ladies after me because, as you said, I'm charming and good-looking and fun to be around. And also...
Raquel: Humble?
Willie: Because I just have this inexplicable aura of sexuality... I can't describe it, but it's there.

If that doesn't belong in the narcissism calendar, I don't know what does. But I don't know about you... it makes me want to steal Willie from Raquel, just a little bit. It sounds like we have a lot in common.