Misadventures in Tanning

Oh, tanning cream, why must our relationship be so difficult?
I appreciate that you give me a nice color without harmful UV rays, but why is it so hard for me to not miss spots in obvious places?
The latest fail was on my neck and chin. I just wanted to look a little less pasty, inspired by my nut-brown nieces who swim every day. Everything looked good until I looked up, and saw a white diamond from the underside of my chin down the front of my neck. I tried to compensate by filling in the spot with more tanning cream, but there's still a little bit of a color mis-match. I've taken to putting bronzing powder on my neck to avoid looking like "THAT girl" with the crazy makeup like. Oh, to be a bronzed goddess. Maybe in a few weeks.
What was really bad was last night I had a date with my friend Rudy. We went to Baskin Robbins for clown cones, and I'm pretty sure my white neck glowed in the harsh florescent lighting.
What was really worse, though, was that I met a nice, handsome chap right before. As we sat together and chatted, I tried my make sure my chin was pointed down, but not so far as to give me a double. I would have succeeded and come out smelling like a rose (because I'd used rose-scented makeup remover before to get rid of that awful tanning cream smell), but then Rudy came up and said, "Ready to go [on our date]?" New boy also probably wasn't too impressed when he saw R and I holding hands later (but anyone who knows us understands the R&R love is just as platonic as it gets!). Blast.
On the bright side, the tanning cream probably hid my blush when I told Rudy about how my WW friends suggested to burn off the Clown Cone Calories, I could just "exercise" after my date. Imagine my horror when I told them the gym would be closed and they laughed and said that's not what they meant.
It's days like these I think I should just escape to Hawaii for a couple of weeks and get myself a real tan.