If Ye Are Prepared, Ye Shall Not Fear

OK. This is it. The last night of coupledom for me for a while. It was fun while it lasted. How do you like that I just posted the pictures last time, and now you're getting the pre-breakup blog? Oh well. Life is a facsimile of a sham. Just kidding. I've always wanted to say that-- it's from those Georgia Nicolson books I like so much.
If I were Georgia Nicolson, I would spend the next several days writing in my diary about how I'm living in a bed of pain and subsisting on Jammie Dodgers. Well, I do happen to have JDs in my cupboard, but at this stage of my day, I don't think I'll need to break them out just yet. I'm not 100 percent happy about losing Ray, but I'm 100 percent happy that he's going back to school, living his dreams, prepared for an excellent semester, and ready to show all of Las Cruces that he's every bit as awesome as I've always said. I'm 100 percent happy that I had an excellent summer and came out of it with a stellar (his favorite word) friend I'll hopefully have for life. And I'm 100 percent happy that I'm capable of being happy on my own. I mean, mostly. The other day I went into a bit of an emotional tailspin, complete with a series of massive nosebleeds (a sure sign I'm stressed out), convinced that I've never been happy in all my life. But I think that was just the blood-loss talking. Now that I've had time to coagulate, or whatever it is blood does, I'm seeing clearly now (hahaha: in an ironic twist, we're expecting rain this weekend). About a week ago, Ray started to come down with the world's worst sore throat and ear ache. Poor little peanut felt like the devil... one could tell just by looking at him. So while he was in a literal bed of pain, I spent my Saturday doing all those things that I never get to do-- fun things. As a matter of fact, I made a list of only fun things I'd like to get done. As satisfying as it generally is to cross off things like "mow the lawn," it was even more satisfying to have a list which read: Pedicure, Matinee of Brideshead Revisited; Target; Sweet Tomatoes; etc. It was fantastic, and I did it all by myself. I didn't even feel bad until I told my mom I was practicing being single again. Then I teared up a bit. But it was short-lived. Until the above-mentioned mini-meltdown, that is. But I'm over it.
So now, there's no need to sic my entourage/posse on Ray (though I still find it heartwarming how many out there were willing to maim anyone who hurt me). I just need to throw myself back into the business of being Rachel Sego. It'll be good. No more excuses keeping me from the gym (but we were making out until 2:15! Surely that burnt plenty of calories!). No more falling off the health-food wagon (but we consistently SPLIT those Flying Star desserts!). Now is the time to return to my friends, like the prodigal, ready to once again bemoan (while secretly savoring) my singleness, waiting for something else to come along and capture my attention. I'm not in a hurry. I've had it better than I could have imagined for the last several weeks, and now autumn is nearly upon us with its myriad possibilities. I've got things to do! My Bob Ross Halloween costume to perfect, for example. Refurbishing those amazing chairs-- another. Jeff and I are still set on making a table out of my parents' old front door. I'm ready to start running again... possibly. I started making rings for a holiday gift boutique. I'm trying to learn some new songs on the piano. I'm anticipating a visit from Andrew, and another from Kimball. I'm thinking about joining my friend Jen on a cruise. Yeah. It's all good. I feel like a modern mini-aristocrat for all the luxuries and social intrigue of my life. Like Ray would say, stellar.