Sleep Walking

So on the whole, I'm doing... better. That surge of mid-week energy was wonderful and liberating and empowering. Last night, I surprised myself as I suddenly cried through my evening prayers. So it's a process. Maybe it's because you-know-who (OK, when did Ray turn into Voldemort? I don't know) will be in town this weekend visiting his family. I mean, I think he will. Obviously I don't know much any more. Except that healing certainly doesn't happen overnight.
But hey, onward, right?
I'm still a bit of an insomniac. Last night was the first night in ages I didn't have to be anywhere, so I thought, "Hey, I'm going to bed!" But no such luck. It took three episodes of "My So-Called Life" and reading an entire book before I could manage to turn off my brain enough to rest. There really wasn't any reason for this. The night before was a similar struggle, but that was due to some FANTASTIC tentative news I got that night: Not only am I expecting a visit from my dear Andrew the great (yes, the guy with the erstwhile mustache), but also it is possible our friend Nathan will be coming at the same time!! Nothing is even set in stone, but I was just like the little boy on the Disney commercial scolded by his mom for being awake ("We're too excited to sleep!"). Such a weekend would be a Polish-love extravaganza. I started planning the logistics of who would get each room, and what we'd do while they're here. I danced around my house so much that I'm sure the adrenaline is what kept me awake.
Maybe I've also not been sleeping in anticipation for the weekend. Ta-Da! It's here. Kind of. I still have mountains of paperwork to get through, but I'm all at once excited and ready to throw up. Tonight my friend Adam is taking me to Waffle House and we're going to have a Yahtzee tournament. Tomorrow night I'm hanging out with my friend Judge. We're going with the branch posse to watch a movie in San Lorenzo canyon. I know, I know. These are not big deal things worth getting bent out of shape over. And yet, I just have had such a hard time being socially normal that it all seems scary and weird. It's like my body suddenly sprouted jets and my blood is gurgling. That can't be normal, right?