A Little Something to Make Me Sweeter

It's vegetarianism, Day 7.
So far, so good, except I'm famished today-- not a good sign because it's only 10:19 a.m. and I keep wandering out to my parents' kitchen. Not a lot of great options here, but I'm sure the feeling will pass.
The meatless weekend went pretty well. I wasn't able to eat a couple of my favorite salads at Sweet Tomatoes, but that left room for a bigger one with the fat-free honey mustard dressing I love.
And as usual, I was a little too busy to eat or think much on it.
The only snafu was yesterday at Break the Fast. I really ought to have left right away as planned, but my friend Dallin asked me to come sit with him while he ate. So I thought, "OK, I can handle this." Plus also, the gracious James and Tyler had provided a huge bowl of salad and I was looking forward to sitting with someone who makes me feel a little less bad (D.Y.). But I'll be darned if those kids hadn't eaten ALL of the salad! Dang it!
I'll admit, I snapped. Hardcore. I sat in my car sobbing for a good 20 minutes before I drove home.
Lest you think I've gone totally nutty in the last 7 days, you ought to know it wasn't really about the salad. The salad was just the perfect representation of it all.
I was moody from the moment I set foot in the Institute on Sunday. I think the whole place still had the couple's-karma from AFK's birthday bash the night before. I'd attended the black-tie event, but was a little shocked to see that people had really taken the date thing seriously. Couples everywhere! One boy offered to be my escort through the evening, but no one wants pity. I ended up leaving early because I felt super uncomfortable and lonely.
So yesterday it didn't get all that much better. I sat alone in the front of the chapel because I'd been asked to lead the music. I don't think I would have even noticed being alone, except when I got up to wave my arm, I saw people packed in like sardines in the back, and couldn't help noticing all the empty chairs in my vicinity. It might have had something to do with the geographical location (because for some reason the front row is off limits?), but it felt pretty bad.
Also hurting my feelings? A certain former friend of mine who wouldn't look at me. But that's another story...
Anyway, things got a little better as the day went on. My friends the missionaries offered to beat a particular person up for me-- and let's face it, Elder Boden could break someone in half just by looking at them, and Elder Van Etten isn't a slacker either. Relief Society was really good. I thought I'd gotten past the grumpies until someone asked me if I'd been sunburned or had a rash on my chest-- not exactly what one wants to hear when they woke up thinking, "At least I'm super tan." And then there was the issue of the salad. Oh, the salad!
I tried to leave, but as I said, I had to get some crying out. And then I couldn't back out because there were some chaps gathered around f-BFF (former Bestie) and his truck, and I didn't really want them to all see my face red as a beet (or red as my decolletage, as the helpful girl had suggested). So I had to wait for what seemed like hours, crying like a nincompoop, shooing away the helpful comforting arms because a) I didn't want the negative attention and b) there's only one set of comforting arms I wanted at that point, but they're attached to a head that won't look up when I walk in a room and hands held up in defense or in fists.
So I went home. I turned off my phone. I took a long nap, because it's nice to have that sensation of waking up and not remembering right away what brought you to that sad place. When I turned the phone back on, I only had one message from someone telling me I'm doing a bad job at something (which is actually pretty good, on average). Things really did get better.
So now it's Monday, and I'm sleepy, but I'm at work. I'm hungry, but my family only eats meat and candy (exaggeration, of course, but that's what it feels like). I'm looking forward to getting a lot of paperwork done in hopes that it will take my mind off things a bit. And I'm hoping to cultivate a sweeter disposition and a little respect.