Thursday, December 30, 2010

Of Course I Know What I'm Talking About-- I Told Fortunes at a Fundraiser Once

This time of year, it's pretty common to hear folks grumbling about New Year's Resolutions. Some with post about them, because it gives them an added layer of accountability (assuming their readers will remember and care enough to check up on how they're doing goal-wise). Others use that all-too-familiar cop-out, "The only resolution I've made is to not make any more New Year's Resolutions." In years' past, I've made extremely long, meticulous plans for how I plan to completely overhaul my life, but I like to keep those to myself. Number 1, I'm completely normal and I forget about my resolutions by February 16, and Number 2, I'm really prideful, and I don't want to have everyone else know about all my flaws.
But because I've been the Blogging Grinch lately, I feel like I've got to address the timely topic in SOME way. To do otherwise is just being a poor sport. But because I've been preoccupied with having a life, I've also not made my list of everything that is wrong with me that I need to fix within the calendar year of 2011 (or edited the abbreviated list that needs to be accomplished before I turn 30 in May). Instead, I hereby offer the following 2011 predictions. They have very little merit, and many of them have little to do with me or anything within my sphere of influence, but I'd argue that's what makes them extra-charming:

1) In pop culture, Lindsey Lohan will get out of rehab, but promptly come back in. Russell Crowe will be mad that no one really talks about him and will beat someone up, and the Walt Disney Company will have to give kids a new icon to look up to, because yet another one will want to "branch out from the Disney box" (aka they'll want to do a nudie movie). I know this because history tends to repeat itself (with the exception of the clean-cut Jonas Brothers).

2) In world politics, someone will finally tell Vlad Putin that he is a big baby. And possibly Hugo Chavez.

3) In fashion, the mullet hairdo which has been enjoying a solid comeback since the last World Cup will FINALLY make it to New Mexico, where it will remain in fashion for about five years (otherwise known as four years and eleven months after it is no longer popular everywhere else).

4) Economically speaking, we should see a slow, steady growth in the construction market once again, so those of us who have scraped by and weathered the storm will come out all right and things won't be so pinched. This sub-heading could also be called "Somehow Rachel will get rich."

5) AND, in the humble (yet marvelous) world of Rachel Sego, expect the following developments: training for and finally running a 5k (small goal, I know; shout out to Sokphal, who is running her first MARATHON in Zurich in 2011), becoming a petite supermodel, smoothly navigating my 30th birthday at Disneyland (where I will possibly run into the Jonas Brothers, but even though I know they're clean-cut, I'm not sure I'd recognize them), and getting married November 11 (because who doesn't want to have their wedding date be 11-11-11?!?!?).

For predictions about what will happen to YOU in the coming year, call me now for your free reading.

4 Comments:

At December 30, 2010 at 9:20 PM , Blogger Sokphal said...

FYI your wedding date will be on Leonardo Dicaprios birthday. You should change that to... who wouldn't want to NOT get married on LC's bday?!

 
At December 30, 2010 at 9:21 PM , Blogger Sokphal said...

Oh thaks for the shout out!<3

 
At December 31, 2010 at 9:21 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

I wanna run a 5k with you!!!

 
At January 2, 2011 at 5:13 PM , Blogger Jana said...

Dear Rachel,

Without the witty hilarity that is your blog, there wouldn't be nearly as much joy in my life. That is all.

Love,

Jana

 

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