That wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her

Yesterday morning I was getting out of the shower, trying to put my hair up in one of those turban things. But I guess while I was busy singing the "Hallelujah Chorus" and washing my hair, a HUGE spider had crawled on my turban. I'd had the turban in my teeth while I was wringing out my hair, and nearly swallowed the spider! Ew! It was shocking. But I killed it instead. Poor little guy. I normally like to set little creatures free (rodents are an exception-- I HATE THEM), but this little fella didn't make it.
Well, the whole thing set my day off to a weird start. Church was relatively normal, except my poor little Hatchling and I held hands during Sunday School, thus coming under immense scrutiny. Most folks know we're just friends, but there are a few choice individuals who think the whole thing is quite scandalous. Oh well. He leaves in two weeks, and that's the end of that. He's been a good fake boyfriend to me, and I wish him well. He's even picked out his (real) successor.
The afternoon went all right-- I was feeling quite domestic, making birthday cakes for my new friend Katie. All went well until I tried to transport the awful things and, to make a long story short, I had to clean a heck of a lot of cake off of my van. Ahh. But the party was still smashing with my friend Jeff smelling like pine from an air freshener I bought him in Savannah (it's a card that says, "Thank your lucky stars this is hanging here because this car reeks") and an impromptu poetry reading, with Jeffy winning the prize for most dramatic readings. And then I remembered that spiders are good luck in Poland, so I figured that luck is a little bit more about perception than circumstances.