In the Middle of the Night I go walking in my sleep

It's nearly 2 a.m.-- practically an unheard of hour to me with the few notable exceptions of hanging out with Reuben and watching his roommates and friends burn furniture at Rock Canyon Park freshman year and one of the Chevron trysts. Did I mention that it turns out Chevron has a girlfriend, and has during the whole kissing thing? I'm still a little distraught-- I never expected to fall into the category of "other woman."
This is it... I'm never napping again. Insomnia does not agree with me.

It's Gonna Be Me

First things first.
LANCE BASS IS GAY.
As you know, I like gay people as much as I like any kind of people. I've known plenty of great ones, and I imagine some aren't worth kicking-- just like everyone else. And I suppose the dudes I know will say, "Uh, DUH Rachel." But he was always my favorite N'Syncer (Justin is gross, JC is passe, and who even remembers Joey or poor little Chris with the lame pony-beaded braids?). I guess this is just one more manifestation of my attraction to men who like other men. I thought I'd given that up. Again, nothing against my gay friends, but that kind of thing isn't going to get me very far, now is it?
Anyway, this prolly shouldn't take up space on the old blog, but I think I was just a little shocked because I've been taken out of the pop culture loop. Funny how avoiding the internet and reading the newspaper instead of Entertainment Weekly and Variety will do that to a person. And what about Ken Jennings? Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. :)
So, in my own life that has very little to do with pop culture, things are moving along on the house. It's all a bit scary still for all the obvious reasons, but I am getting excited. I met with the architect today and gave him a list of all the modifications for the floor plan and elevations. Take out the tray ceilings and no bonus room over the garage. Make sure the dormer is functional. Add a half-bath. Extend the dining room and stretch the master bath. 8 foot ceiling throughout, with the exception of the vault in the great room. 6 foot pitch in the trusses. Take out the palladian windows for something a little more basic, but maintain the integrity of the foyer. And no matter what-- NO SLIDING DOORS, ANYWHERE. But add a French Door to the great room for patio access and remove some of the extra windows in the master bedroom. Take out that random skylight.
Here I was thinking I pretty much wanted things as they were, but you know, you want to get it right. And for those whose eyes have not glazed over yet, I'm planning on a rich brown stucco, metal roof, and white trim. Very northern New Mexico. I'm not a huge Santa Fe fan, but I think this is a nice way to bring together local architecture paired with the traditional home sensibilities found all over the country. And did I mention I'll have a pellet stove-fireplace? Score.
In answer to Reuby's earlier question, two acres IS a lot of property, but the layout of the lot is such that it will provide future owners with room to expand for livestock and what not. Plus also, it's against the neighborhood covenants and restrictions to divide the lot, and that's the way it came to me. It's up on a hill, so the lower area is down near the drainage area. Reub, you especially are invited to come for a visit.
Other than all the house-planning madness, things here are fun and busy. I recently re-joined the local gym, which I love. The people in Los Lunas really are fantastic, and working out with them is a pleasure... except that I'm so sore I can barely move. However, I feel this is evidence of a work-out well done, so I'm not complaining.
Ooh, look. I've become a regular yuppie, all in a matter of weeks. Sigh.

Some Girls are Bigger than Others

Some people are just cooler than others, too. Am I right?
Well, NM is turning out to be quite the surprise. Sometimes when I think about it too much my stomach still gets a little crazy, but mostly things have been happy here. I'm having a heck of a time with my family. My brother and I watch these movies from our childhood nearly every night, and we get a big kick out of them. My sister is supremely cool, and we're gearing up for her big birthday celebration next week.
I'm happy to report, though, that my social life has been surprisingly active thus far... so yes, I'm doing stuff with people other than my immediate family. I've been home for what, 8 days now? That seems about right. I've been out and about nearly every night-- mostly hanging with my cousin Garret (ok, ok-- so still family, but there's some branching out). We're rolling as a posse these days, and the rewards are pouring in-- particularly for Gare. It's good to have him around.
Monday was particularly fruitful for the both of us. Garret ran into a girl he'd taken out the week before, got a phone number (and a date) with another one, and made another gal fall into big crush territory. He's an inspiration. As for me, numbers weren't quite so impressive, but I did run into a guy I'd seen around before. Back in the day I'd tried to be nice to him at church, but he was so shy and acted like he'd been insulted when I invited him to sit with me and my family at this dinner thing. But Monday he came running enthusiastically up to ME and we had a good half-hour chat. I feel it is only a matter of time before something goes down. Not positive he's my type, but he seems like a cool guy. I'm looking forward to getting to know him better. My fam loves him.
The other big news of my life comes as part of a pair. Shall I give you the "bad" first? Well, as many of you know, I took the foreign service written exam last April, but got my results letter yesterday and was told I didn't make the cut for the next battery of tests. It's a little disappointing, I guess, but I'm not really even upset about it. I thought I would be, but I really feel it wasn't meant to be. Let's be honest-- I think I'm infinitely more interested in traveling abroad than living there on a permanent basis. A few months at a time, sure. Years at a time? Naw, it really isn't for me.
But I promised you something to complement this news, right? Well, it looks like I'm making one of those big steps to becoming an adult. I'm building a house. CRAZY. I knew it would happen someday, but I didn't expect it to come up all at once. Still, I gotta have some shelter, and I might as well get some equity, right? Plus also, I'm stoked about being in on all the plans. I'm supposed to choose a floor plan this weekend. I get to decide what kind of flooring we put in. I'm the one in charge of the stucco and paint colors. I'm the one who makes the decisions about cabinets and light fixtures and tubs and showers and windows and how many electrical outlets and phone jacks there are. Eventually, I'll be the one doing the landscaping (sadly, this will probably mostly be xerascaping, or however the crap you spell that, but I'm holding out for at least a little grass in the backyard). And I've got two acres to work with. It's wild, I'll tell you. But I may be in as early as Christmas. I can have people come and stay with me. I'll have a guest bedroom. And a study (just because it's only me and really, how many bedrooms can I use anyway?). Like I said, wild.
This weekend is marked as family reunion time, and I couldn't be happier. Going up to the cabin for the first time since it was finished. And hello! Who doesn't like the Pioneer Day Rodeo? Yeah, maybe this New Mexico thing isn't going to be so bad after all.

Because you asked me to

OK, here I am. Back in New Mexico. Did I just make a huge mistake? If I weren't drop-dead tired, I'd be more freaked out.
Leaving Utah was a little anti-climatic. I mean, don't get me wrong. People were very kind and threw some parties and gave me gifts and all that jazz. It was wonderful and touching and amazing. But I'll tell you what-- I'd infinitely prefer to have my friends around to all the gifts and parties in the world. But maybe this is just the uncertainty that comes with any big change. I hope it passes soon.
I'm really looking forward to going to bed in a few minutes. Any 12-hour drive will take it outta ya, but put that on top of sleeping on the floor for the last few nights (ok, I had an air matress, but it still wasn't particularly comfortable) and I'm beat. I'm hoping that the next few days will bring some good perspective and that the outlook is positive. Pray for me.
Two other small things of note:
A) I ran into Craig "Pouty Chunk Head" Tovey yesterday at Tai Pan. What a surprise! It's nice to see he's still the hunk-o-burnin' love he was back in our newsroom days when all the girls were mad for him. I hope that if he stumbles across my blog (which he should since I told him about it) he appreciates all the references to Morissey and The Smiths.
B) For those keeping score, Chevron and I ended our kissing relationship last night with a handshake. A little making out would have been the better choice, but that's the thing with NCMO... you don't always get to decide how things go down. It was fun while it lasted, though. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.

The English are sick to death of labour

And I guess so am I. This is it. My last day of work, and my last blog before the move back to the homeland. I should probably say something profound, but I'm not convinced it'll happen-- especially because being brilliant on command isn't my strongest suit.

So what have I gained during my tenure at Excel Entertainment Group? A lot, I think. Shall I enumerate?
1) Good experience, for one thing. Experience on the job (now I can say I really have worked in the PR world) as well as dealing with real world situations (need I remind anyone of the annoying coworker who used to suck spit back into her mouth about every 30 seconds because of her palate expander? Gross).
2) Super friends, for sure. I love the Excel crew. I love how brilliant and crazy they are. I love that they buck convention without being so classically rebellious in the way you'd expect from people working for an independent film company. I like the little voices Tammy does. I love Bettyanne's great stories about her kids, and the way Summer always keeps her fingers together any time she gestures with her hands. I like Brandon's contagious laughter and BP's fake-angry face. I love SarJane's puns and Jacob's love advice. I'll miss Lisa doing her darndest to make sure things are right, and Randy admonishing us to avoid groupthink. I like that Micah doesn't wash his hands after he goes to the bathroom (just kidding). I like that sometimes we go to the movies during work, and that sometimes we have BBQs on the rooftop of our building, causing jealous looks from our neighbors at Zion's Bank.
3) Bragging rights, probably. I mean, when I was the guest speaker for that intro to PR class at BYU for a couple semesters, I was able to share actual war stories. Like telling the kiddos about scoring the spot on the Today Show. That's still pretty awesome.

It's been a good ride, for sure. And I'm scared to death to start over, but I'm glad that I'm taking a leap. I restored a little peace to my life last night while I watched the fireworks. It was funny to juxtapose Independence Day and moving home--essentially giving up my independence for a while. But with the smell of sulfur in the air and the crazy explosions all over the Salt Lake Valley and the frozen virgin margaritas, it all came together for me. Well, at least enough to convince me I'm ok with it all.

It got me started thinking about my email signature. For those of you not privileged enough to get personal emails from me, here you go:

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding." -- Jack Kerouac

Anyway, as weird as the change is going to be, I have every reason to believe that I can explode on the scene and make some great things happen. I mean, why not? I'm a neat girl, I'm full of surprises. How many people do you know who carried a briefcase in 5th and 6th grade? Or who have broken the nose thrice? Or who love folk music as much as I do? OK, so none of these things are particularly amazing, but I like them about myself. I love that on Sunday I ran into a kid I knew from a public speaking class my freshman year at BYU and he said, "Hey, didn't I see your picture in a magazine you edited?" Nice. I like that I went to Space Camp for a week and studied with a marine biologist for a summer, but that I ended up writing for a living. I like that I tried to get a girl to teach me how to play the bagpipes, but when it didn't work out I picked up the harmonica. I like that I send Valentines to everyone in my office but have no qualms about going to the movies by myself.

Anyway, I don't know if that propels me into anyones uber-cool category, but here I am. And here I go.