OK, so I wasn't actually PARTICIPATING in last weekend's pageant, but I have to tell ya, I'm pooped. Since arriving in Alamogordo on Friday, through the competition, and now back at home, I've had one of those headaches where there's a sharp pain on the crown of your head that shoots behind your right eye. Yeah. I think it was Aquanet-induced.
As most of you probably know by now, my little sister is NOT the reigning Miss New Mexico, but we're all very proud of her anyway. She looked beautiful and performed well and represented our family, etc. But let's be honest... you're not reading this to hear about what a grand program Miss America is, are you? You want the dirt, and I aim to please (now I know why I was voted most likely to have my own talk show or work for a tabloid).
Here are a few things I found humorous--
* One of the judges was a plastic surgeon. Now, I'm all for reconstructive surgeries after accidents, and I really don't even mind when people give themselves a little cosmetic tweaking if it's going to make them happier. But if I were a contestant, I'd be afraid he'd be recruiting new clients. Maybe he was hoping the 23 "losers" would come sobbing to him asking what he would change about them so they could win? No, he actually looked like an upstanding guy, but there's something ironic about it all... don't ya think? (Sorry, couldn't help it.)
* A couple of the girls hired this stylist to come down to the pageant and do their hair and makeup. The best part? He did their hair exactly the same! Think 1980s news anchor, minus the huge shoulder pads.
* At one point, a girl did this jazz dance for her talent, including a couple back handsprings. I said to my mother, "That's not such a big deal. My friend Jeff can do the same thing." Of course, as handsome as I think Jeff is, I don't know how great he'd look in a unitard.
* I learned a new bit of pageant protocal. If you can't make the answer to your onstage question "World Peace," it's important to try to work in Jesus or a recently deceased relative. Also, to buy yourself some time, throw your head back laughing like your question is the most amusing thing in the whole world. It works better than repeating the question before answering, which only seemed to confuse the girls.
* Another great thing-- they've got this industrial-strength makeup for pageant girls. My little sister was telling us about how her roommate was one of those "naked girls"-- you know, the type who strip down without a care in the world. Naked girl and nearly all the other girls have tattoos, but you would never know because they use this stuff called "DermaPro" or something. Crazy! I need to get some of that stuff for the next time I get a hickey. ;)
* Fianlly, I don't think it's a huge deal that my little sister didn't win, because the crowns are kind of reminiscent of Jughead from the Archie comics. Just kidding!
In all seriousness, though, all the girls were beautiful. 95 percent of them were extraordinarily talented (with the remaining 5 percent impressively talented). They were all poised and graceful. I'm guessing they were all catty behind the scenes, but that's women for you.